On a trip to L.A. we stopped in at a bakery which we enjoy frequenting while we are there. It is called the Yellow Vase Bakery. In particular, I favor the apricot tarts. Yum! I ordered the apricot tart and a black coffee with cream and sugar. When I got my change I also asked them if it would be possible to wear one of their aprons and cool uniform hats and then bus some of the tables. Her expression registered surprise and curiosity. I was told that request would need to go through a manager. I asked if a manager was available and she promptly went to find him.
I made the request again to the manager and he said that they were too busy and had a Santa Claus event getting ready to happen and that it would not be possible. I asked then if I could just wear the apron and hat and get a photo as I was a fan of their bakery. Again he said no. He added had I come earlier he could have said yes, or even if I had shown up tomorrow. Oh! I said. I can come back tomorrow. I would be happy to do that. I don’t know if he regretted the offer or not but I was glad he made it. The next day I went back and the Manager was friendly and offered me the apron and hat for a photo.
I have to say that I was out of my comfort zone making the initial request but not so much because I was also offering to bus tables. So I felt there was some value that I was offering. Returning the next day I was actually more uncomfortable because what if he said no again? Or was annoyed that I actually showed up? What if I was an inconvenience. I am beginning to see that in addition to fearing rejection I also have concerns about other people experiencing me as an inconvenience or annoyance. I see how this could be limiting or stop me in other areas of my life if I am overly concerned about showing up like this for others.